my secret

hey this is Sakura22 most of my friends no me as a person who helps. well there is one thing nobody nos about me. and only me and my boyfriend greatlove2009 (matt) nos about and i want to share it.

i have been reading some glogs about ppl who are in the hospital from cutting themselfs really deep and from over doing drugs. and then there was one about a guy who committed suiside. well i have had thoughts of suiside before and have attempted it twice. i no ur probably shocked. i had a thought of it sometime either at the end of 5th grade or beginning og 6th. i wanted to do it bc ppl always looked at me like im an alien or someone who has a diease or something. i tried to do it in 7th i was washing dishes and was washing a steak knife i put it up to my throat but my brother walked in and i quickly put it down. my last and final attempt was when i broke up with a senor named jeremy kaleta. i caused him so much pain and i felt so guilty so i started to choke myself. but there was something that made me stop. i was starting to pass out when i saw a pic of my current boyfriend matt in my head. at the time we were only friends and i new that he liked me and i liked him. and it was his pic that made me stop. my point of all this is if you are thinking of comitting suiside think of ur friends and the ppl you love and the ppl who love you. also think how will my friends lives change when im gone. even tho ur only one person u can make such an impact on so many lives. so please think and be happy for wat u have and say there are ppl in worse situations out their and compared to them my life is great